What is a painful truth? My experiences have taught me that the painful truths are the truths that have the ability to cause heartache and pain. Some may argue that painful truths should be omitted. Why add insult to injury, right? I have always advocated for honesty within my relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. However, I wasn't quite sure where I stood on painful truths and the importance of speaking it; that is until now.
In recent weeks I had found myself back in the company of my first boyfriend. Although it has been thirty years since our relationship ended a mutual respected friendship had formed. At least that was what I had thought. So when he answered my plea for help with a plumbing issue, I gratefully accepted. Over the last few weeks came confessions of love and regret, how I was the one that got away. He never stopped loving me. It was easy for me to get swept up in the attention he was paying me, yet a part of me was holding back. A voice inside kept telling me that I needed the truth. I have learned to listen to the voices when they come. Thirty years later the painful truth has finally been spoken; and it changed everything for me.
The journey I have been on in this lifetime has taught me to live in faith, compassion, kindness, patience, forgiveness, and understanding. My experiences on this Healing Journey has taught me that all of these things can be toxic without boundaries. Grief has taught me love. Love taught me about God. My relationship with God has taught me who I am and also who I am not.
As someone who had delivered painful truths in relationships, I understand the risks involved. Knowing that not only will you hurt someone you care about, but also the possibility for it to also bring your own painful experiences. Overall, I always chose to disclose all the truths no matter the pain it would ultimately bring to me. Now, being on the receiving end of the painful truth, which I have had my fair share of, I have mastered the grieving process involved (as much as one can). I can say with Absolute Certainty, the sooner the better.
There is no 'good time' to deliver a painful truth. However, the more time has passed, the more painful it will be; for everyone involved.
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